Through the magic of technology, Pizza Night had received access to a taped conversation between two al Qaeda operatives, caught by a U.S. Predator drone while dining on the entrails of a goat in the back country of Yemen.

Mustafa: Ah, my friend Farooq Najeeb, I have heard that our brother, the Nigerian, failed in his mission to destroy the aircraft of the great Satan on their Christmas Day.

Farooq: Of course I have heard also, Mustafa. But, Allah be praised, did we not learn a great deal about the American president?

Mustafa (pulling the last stringy meat from the bone of the goat): What do you mean Farooq?

Farooq: Did you not hear the statement of the Great Satan Obama, Mustafa?

Mustafa: What did he say, Farooq?

Farooq: Mustafa, he said that we would be held accountable for the attack.

Mustafa: But Farooq, is that not bad for us?

Farooq (picking goat intestine from his teeth): That is exactly what the imbecile Clinton said he would do to us in Afghanistan. What did the fool do? He makes noise to fool his idiot followers, and does nothing!

Mustafa: But what if he is like the Greatest Satan, Bush, and comes here to find us?

Farooq: Mustafa, my good friend, just look at what the feeble Obama has done so far.
He travels the world apologizing for his tribe. He bows before Muslim Kings, as the dog should, and other heads of state. He prohibits harsh questioning of our brothers captured on the battlefield. He says the Great Satan will no longer use torture on our brothers. They call that torture? The Muslim brothers who have returned from Gitmo are too fat to fight when they return. If the fool Obama ever comes here, I will show him what torture really is. The infidel president has much to learn of the world.

Mustafa: But what if he comes to kill us here?

Farooq: Fear not Mustafa, we gave him a Nobel Peace Prize. He will never do it. He is weak and easily manipulated by our friends in the press. He wants to be liked and respected, but he does not show strength, he shows weakness. Look at what he has done, Mustafa, not what he says. He says what the dimwits in the press, and those who elected him, want to hear. What has he done, Mustafa? He has told us when he will leave Afghanistan. He has brought our brother, Khalid Sheik Mohammed, of great fame and courage, to New York for trial in US Federal Court.

Mustafa: But Farooq, is that not bad for brother Khalid? Can they not convict him there and send him back to Satan’s own prison at Gitmo for life?

Farooq: Mustafa, you know nothing of the Americans. They can never convict him in court. Even the fool Obama has admitted publicly that brother Khalid has been tortured. He will therefore be found not guilty by the Infidel American courts. That is why this is a huge victory for Islam. (Kicks a mangy dog trying to find a scap of goat intestine) When he says he was tortured, instead of laughing at him and striking him with a sharp stick, they will feel sorry for him, and release him. Besides, Mustafa, the fool Obama has said he will close the prison at Gitmo, praise Allah. We will see our brother Khalid walking the streets of New York with his lawyers. Imagine the pictures on al Jazeera when he visits the scene of the Greatest Islamic Triumph, what the Infidels now call Ground Zero.

Mustafa: Can he do that; will they not just arrest him again?

Farooq: Mustafa, truly you do not comprehend the level of stupidity of the Americans. Yes, they have a powerful Army and should be feared. But in America, they are governed by the emotions of women. If they were Muslims, they would behead him and kick his head down the road and curse the CNN cameras. But they are weak. They desire to be nice. They all, especially the fool Obama, think that if they act nice and play by their rules, we will respect them and make our peace with them. They are as this goat was just before we slaughtered him, bound in their own ropes, and unable to resist. They are tired of conflict after just a few years. We have waited hundreds of years, we will be here long after they have submitted to have their heads severed from their worthless bodies.

Mustafa: I hope you are right, Farooq.

Farooq: Of course I am right, with the fool Obama in office, we might as well have one of the Muslim brothers in the White House. What would a Muslim brother do differently than the fool, Obama? Nothing, Mustafa, nothing at all.

Mustafa (running to the window and looking up): What is that whistling noise, Farooq, do you hear something……….?